I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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