it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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