I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
