Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need a beard to bite.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
