Don't you send me to vm
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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