i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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