Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.