Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes