thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
