I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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