Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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