So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
