She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
