She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
