I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize