We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
