the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
