can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
