I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
