Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
