just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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