A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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