Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
