have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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