Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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