Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
