How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
