somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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