My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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