This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
