Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize