You work out of a Hotel?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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