Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
