I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
