The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
