Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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