so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
