The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
