Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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