There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
