Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
