I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
