This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Mom said you looked used
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
