she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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