i don't plan on having that self control this summer
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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