You really coming over, don't trick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
