i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
there is glitter all over my balls
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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