I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
