i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
