Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
