How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
