My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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