I love black thongs
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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