For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize