At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
