walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
