Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Say something about gay babies.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just googled if crying burns calories
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
