Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
